Saturday, June 30, 2007

The love of God in a culture of disinterest

I had one of my most profound experiences of the love of God recently. 4 days ago Erica and I arrived in Minneapolis, our new home, and have been living with my parents. A couple days ago we spent an evening at my sister and brother-in-laws house and we brought Junia. The day before she had spent pretty much all day in the car and was pretty wiped out and confused at life. We tried to put her to sleep in the pack and play, but she just kept waking up so we would go in and give her her pacifier. This did not do any good, so eventually I just went in there to hold her which always calms her down. This time my holding her did absolutely nothing. Her little face just turned bright red as she screamed and cried into my face. It went back and forth between those yelping screams and the long sustained ones that sound like a lung is going to fall out. So, this went on for about 20 minutes and by the time Erica came I was crying with Junia because I simply had no idea how to provide for whatever her need was. I ended up throwing her pacifier against the wall because I was so saddened by the fact that I could not help this little girl I am responsible for. Once I composed myself and got the tears out of my eyes we left and Junia was dead asleep when we got home.

As I think through that night I am struck by what must be the incredible love that God feels for us. I just got this picture that as we make choices that fall away from the plan of God, God is holding us tight as he cries with our sadness and our mistakes. It is this immense love that overflows out of the person of God and should flow out of each one of us as we love the rest of the world. I need to weep more for the weeping of the world.

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